Poor Me Wave (and jabs at my uterus)

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and instantly know that it's going to be what I call a "bad baby day." I just know that inevitably at some point during the day I'm going to want to scream, which will lead me to tears, and of course be the reason I find myself eating a lot of chocolate in the comfort of my couch waiting for Marv to come home and make the world look good once more. But I'm not going to post about that again, am I? (well, not today) No. But I do have some to say about myself falling victim to the wave of 'poor me.'

Sometimes blogs make me sad. Sometimes looking at facebook makes a good day not so much. Am I alone in this?... I often find myself getting discouraged because of the most trivial things. It's almost always something silly, but sometimes those silly things start to feel more like small jabs at my heart (and uterus).

When I look at others play-by-play of life, I sometimes feel this wave of sad come over me. Then negative thoughts and questions come to my mind. What good does that do?! Really. Here are a few of todays negative musings:

"When will it be my turn?..."
"Why does everyone have that dang pregnancy countdown on their sidebar?!"
(no offense)
"I want to take pictures of my growing belly...
(usually in a whiney voice)"
Silly? Yes. But it happens.

I've decided I'm going to block those little jabs from now on. (my uterus has had enough lately anyway - blame Dr Heiner). I have enough "bad baby days" as it is. Why do anything, no matter how small, that will invite negative thinking? I'm just going to stop. I'm trying to stay as positive as I can through all of this (while still allowing myself to feel), so when I sense that a wave of poor me is starting to build, and can see that something silly has created that wave...

I'm out.

(written 1/10/11)